Excerpts from Breaking Addiction: A 7-Step Handbook for Ending Any Addiction
Lance Dodes, M.D., 2011
[All text is quoted directly except when in brackets. Bracketed text is added for clarity. Page numbers are at ends of sections. Excerpts are from introduction through page 42, and page 58, paperback edition.]
The fact is, if you suffer with an addiction you are not different at all from anyone else. 36
Since an addiction is no more and no less than a psychological symptom – just one of many human mechanisms for dealing with emotional life – having an addiction places you squarely in the mainstream of humanity. 36
Because addictions are efforts to deal with the most important emotional issues of your life, it is impossible to understand them without understanding yourself as a person. 42
…addictions are a kind of shortcut to understanding yourself… 13 (note)
Since addiction is a way to deal with certain overwhelming feelings of helplessness, once you know what the key issues are for you, you are in position to manage and ultimately end your addictive behavior. 21
Addiction is a behavior intended to reverse a profound, intolerable sense of helplessness. This helplessness is always rooted in something deeply important to the individual. 12
…when there is no direct action a person feels he or she can take to deal with overwhelming helplessness, he finds a substitute (or a displaced) action. 18
Addictions are all substitute (or displaced) actions. They take the place of a more direct response to feelings of helplessness in a particular situation. 18 People perform addictive acts in the face of overwhelming feelings of helplessness because they feel trapped and don’t see more direct ways to handle a given situation. 18-19
[Analogy of the Cave-in: Dode compares being trapped under ground to the drive behind addictive acts.]
When you first find yourself trapped in a tight, dark space you might try to stay calm, but that won’t last for long. Soon you’ll be banging on the rocks, clawing at them to get out. Your hands will be bloody. You might break your wrist in the desperate effort [to do something, anything to get out.] But that wouldn’t matter. At that moment the normal rage in such situations is the dominant force. 16-17 It’s good to keep in mind that if you and they [people who consider addictions unusual] were trapped together in a cave-in…you would all be furiously pounding on the rocks just the same. 40
All animals react with aggression to being trapped; it’s a necessary survival instinct…This fury in addiction is actually quite normal. 16
[The emotional energy that drives aggression against feeling trapped and helpless] arises not just in realistic circumstances like being trapped in a cave, but also in situations that feel overwhelming and confining…] 17
The drive in addictive behavior is rage at helplessness. It is this particular kind of rage that gives addiction its most conspicuous characteristics of intensity and loss of control. 16
In fact, if you think of how rage reveals itself, you will see that it looks remarkably like addiction. In the throes of rage people are overwhelmed with their anger; their rational thinking process and their self-control dissolves. They become unconcerned about the long-term consequences of their actions. Everything in their lives that they normally care about becomes secondary to the expression of the rage…it is a kind of rage that drives addiction. 15-16
Ron’s decision to drink relieved his feeling of helplessness. He could, entirely in his own control, take an action that would make him feel better. He was the master of his internal life, of his feelings. And he was taking control over not just any helplessness, but the kind that touched on the central emotional problem of his life…[the kind of helplessness] that was now, and always had been, intolerable to him. 11-12
If you compulsively substitute drinking for a direct action, then we say you have alcoholism…[although the] form of an addiction does not have special meaning. 18
Habits are very different from addictions. They are automatic behaviors that don’t have deeper meaning. 27
[Do you have a repetitive, excessive behavior that you worry is an addiction rather than a habit? Ask yourself:] When does my addictive act (or even just the thought of it) arise? Is it when you are feeling helpless about something – being insulted, left out, used or abused, ignored, hopeless, or any other feeling that for you leads to that intolerable sense of helplessness? Of course, you may not know what is setting off thoughts of your addictive act until you have a chance to think carefully about it. But if the behavior you are concerned about is triggered by this kind of emotional upset, it is much more likely to be a true addiction. 25
People have habitual ways of dealing with anxiety, sadness, fear, anger, and other feelings. These emotional defenses are pretty much permanent aspects of their personalities – techniques settled upon early in life to deal with emotions. Because these ways are so settled, once you recognize your own emotional defenses for managing difficult feelings, they can be used as sign-posts, or even warning signals [of an impending emotional distress-relieving, addictive act]. 58
…addressing feelings of helplessness is key to treating addiction. 13
For further reading:
- Breaking Addiction: A 7-Step Handbook for Ending Any Addiction by Lance Dodes. Excerpts here, post here.
- The Sober Truth: Debunking the Bad Science Behind 12-Step Programs and the Rehab Industry
by Lance and Zachary Dodes. Excerpts and post here.
