At the end of 2012, I experienced myself having out-of-control feelings and thoughts, alarmed by images and memories, in severe emotional and physical pain, flooded by waves of panic, fighting longing, in circumstances I couldn’t change or influence, isolated and alone. I felt anguished and agonized, helpless, and hopeless that anything could change. I love my life and wished so much better for myself!
With professional assistance and through my own studies, I was able to derive a formula for an inner dialogue that helps me no matter what is – or isn’t – happening.
Today, I am contented enough, enough of the time, to thrive.
. . . . .
I pause.
I give myself permission to step back from everyone and everything, even just for a moment.
I say to myself, “I am here for me.”
I say to myself, “I will not leave myself, no matter what.
I say, “I am kind to myself. I will stay kind to myself no matter what.”
Gently, patiently, but muscularly, I become aware of to what I am giving my attention.
I acknowledge the reality of what has my attention. It may be in the physical world or it may be a feeling, thought, image, or memory in my interior world. Without judgment, I simply name it.
If I am longing for substances, I strong-arm my attention.
I then use my attention to focus on what I am feeling, thinking, sensing, and doing.
I ask myself, “What am I feeling?”
I use my attention to become aware of my feelings and name them. I note the intensity of my feelings and adjust the volume on my inner state to a level that feels stable to me.
I ask myself, “What am I thinking?”
I become aware of my thoughts and, with mercy, acknowledge my thoughts without judgment.
Without judging each thought as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative, rational or irrational, I simply consider whether or not the thought would be helpful to me right now. I sort my thoughts into helpful and unhelpful piles. I focus my attention on the helpful thoughts. I rank order my helpful thoughts and give my attention to the most important ones.
I ask myself, “What am I sensing?”
I become aware of physical sensations I am having and become aware of what information they give me. To help myself feel more comfortable and more stable, I consciously move or breathe. I shift my attention to information from my senses: to what I see, hear, taste, touch, sense, or to motion.
I ask myself, “What am I doing?”
I simply become aware of what actions I am taking, whether with my physical body or with my brain.
As a result of using my attention to become aware of my feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations,
I can then access the best of both my heart and my mind
which is my inner wisdom.
I can consult my inner wisdom to guide me in deciding what’s most helpful for me to say or do next – or not say or not do – with regard to myself and others.
. . . . .
When I become aware I am experiencing trauma symptoms, I have found this version of my inner dialogue to be helpful.
This post is part of a series. The table of contents for the series is here and posts are published in the category entitled Guide.
Last updated 12/23/17
The views expressed are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the positions of my employers, co-workers, clients, family members or friends. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or professional advice. Consult a qualified health care professional for personalized medical and professional advice.
