Although it would have been impossible due to client confidentiality, I wish everyone I know could have been watching in an audience together, not to see me, but to see themselves.
I facilitated addictions recovery groups during my internship, but as an addictions professional hired to help people, I facilitated my first group ever last night.
I am imagining the happy, satisfied elbowing in that crowd.
“I told her that!”
“I taught her that!”
“That’s from my book!”
“Look how she put what you said and what I said together!”
“She remembered that?! I didn’t think she was listening!”
“She pooh-poohed that out of hand when I made that suggestion to her – and look how earnestly she’s suggesting it to clients!”
“Ooh! Finally, finally she’s learning to state things simply! I’ve been fussing at her for years about that.”
“I said that when I was her student years ago. She was listening? She was my teacher, but what I said meant something to her?”
“I shared that at a meeting. She thought it was valuable enough to pass on?”
I had a sense I’ve never felt before of being primarily message, not messenger. Yes, I was there. I wore my business suit, I drew while I talked, I listened silently without interrupting. When the session was over, I stared in wonder at the table, absolutely astonished that I do not improve, that I remain absolutely unaware of how tables and desks get strewn and stacked with my papers and handouts and datebook. [Read more…]
