“Live deep,” Thoreau wrote in Walden.
For me, living deep means “talking deep” with women.
I want no question, topic, thought, or feeling off the table.
That said, I want to hear and be heard in safety. Safety is fostered through a push-pull of free flow and structure. What is said and heard is confidential.
Women’s Circle Protocol
Opening section. Free flow of conversation.
Sharing section. Round robin sharing. 5 minutes per person using a 5-minute sand timer. The speaker has the floor, is uninterrupted by others in the group, and shares about herself, rather than comments on the sharing of others. As time permits, multiple rounds of sharing are possible using a series of timers.
Closing section. Free flow of conversation.
. . . . .
Women’s circle stay safe when members 1) use “I-statements” rather than “we-statements” or “you-statements,” 2) practice silence during another member’s sharing, 3) practice a balance of speaking and listening, 4) answer the question by others outside of the group, “How was women’s circle?” with no more and no less than “It was a good meeting.”
Women’s circles devolve when 1) a member has issues for which she is not seeking outside help and with which she burdens the group, 2) a member focuses on care-taking or advising (i.e. controlling) other members rather than on her own experience in the group, 3) a withholder withholds, 4) a dominator dominates, 5) a member attends irregularly, 6) a group allows casual attendance by non-group members, 7) who’s in the group and who’s not becomes known and an issue, 8) a group member suggests a new group member for motivations other than the best and highest good of the group, 9) any member betrays any member of the group or the group itself by disclosing private and confidential information.
. . . . .
“Women’s Circle Protocol” is by Anne Giles.
It is a synthesis of various sources and experiences including:
The New Valley Girls, Fortune, 10/6/08
The Millionth Circle:
Sacred Circles:
Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy,
…and recovery support group protocols; Unity-based sharing protocols; study and research on group dynamics; group therapy protocols; experience as a group member, as a group facilitator, and others.
